I remember taking a sort of personality/trait test on facebook a few weeks ago. The result I got, as expected from the choice stereotypical outcomes, was “reliability”. I admit that I am at times proud, that, like Cebu Pacific, I am 95% on time. There was a time that my mom told me I should learn to say “no” to people’s requests for help. I was in fact, so proud of being a “helper” that I subconsciously avoided seeking help from other people.
I was reading a book by a John White earlier today, and it came to a point where he was discussing the apostle Paul’s weakness or “thorn in the flesh”. Th author said that it mattered not what the weakness was, but the fact that he had one is the root of the lesson. The apostle Paul boasts in his weakness (2 Corinthians 12:7), for in it he finds his strength, which comes from relying on God and realizing we are nothing apart from Him.
I had no Idea that the same lesson was already applying to me the moment I was reading it. I was reading the book some time between 9am-12nn. At that time, The SVCF (my organization in UP) tambayan was being cleaned up. Less than 24 hours ago, I told people that I will be participating in the said cleanup. It was not until after I planned to withdraw from an ATM near the tambayan that I realized I was supposed to be there.
After realizing my mistake (I hate being late, so you could only imagine my remorse for forgetting to even show up…), I quickly took a bath, prepared to leave, and biked to Vinzon’s hall, hoping I’d still be able to help out. Yet what met me there was a wet, clean, and empty tambayan. I texted some people, and they all replied the same thing – that it was OK, and that there were many people who helped out.
At that, God made me realize again that I was not indispensable, something that I was trying to turn into a sort of mantra, whenever I feel like people’s demands are too much. Yes, I just missed another cleaning fellowship (haven’t been to one in years). I just let my “yes” be “no” by accident. God has just proven that no matter how close to perfection we are in certain aspects of our lives, He is the only true reliable God, in whom our hopes should rest. I may be like Cebu Pacific, 95% on time, but still 4% late and 1% absent, and 0% beyond the reach of God’s grace. And with that, I remembered another old post:
As John white pointed out, to be “poor in spirit” is to know that we are nothing without Christ, and that is why we glory in our weaknesses.